It’s a topic we’ve seen come up regularly on family travel groups, Worldschooling forums, etc. Facebook Mamas pleading for words of support after buying one-way tickets with their families away from home after selling everything with no easy way back!
Here are some helpful tips we’ve put together to ensure travel is rewarding for every member of the family and that you don’t end up crawling back home, hating travel for the rest of your existence.
Define your WHY.
Every family has different reasons for travelling, for many it’s been a longtime dream. To keep that dream from turning into a nightmare, you need to understand first that it is NOT a dream, this will now be your new reality and life can be extremely difficult no matter what reality you are living in. It’s not all a bed of roses and life on the road can be, in fact, a lot more uncomfortable than waking up in the same bed every morning in your master bedroom that never changes neighborhoods. However, if you know WHY you are doing this, the hard moments simply become seen as a price of admission and you can regularly gauge that balance. For example: your ‘why’ is to be in environments where you and your children will be in better touch with how the rest of the world is living outside of North America. These hardships are part of the very experiences you sought out of your comfort zone. Or, perhaps your ‘why’ is to escape a system or political landscape you no longer feel comfortable living in. When times get tough you can remember why it is you left. If where you are is worse or similar to where you left, time to keep moving.
Your WHY offers you comfort in times of doubt and will be a compass for your decision making.
2. Leaving a rut is great, but you need to replace it with a new healthy routine.
Many who find their WHY to be “to get off the hamster wheel” will quickly and mistakenly throw the baby out with the bath water.
Ruts = bad. Routine = sustainability on the road.
If what you crave is spontaneity, even keep that within a routine. For example, “Saturday and Sunday every week I will have no routine”. Routines offer freedom, if you have no routine to break free from, your family life will just spiral into chaos in a matter of weeks and you will be miserable. “Weekends” exist for a reason and having a day or two of rest from the regular provides structured breaks, that for whatever reason, have helped us always have something special to look forward to.
3. Self-work/alone time: address each family member’s needs and schedule the solutions into the weekly routine.
Being together all the time 24 hours a day as a family is a HARD adjustment and one not many consider the full implications of before travelling. The traditional working and schooling family spends more time apart than together and then boom! All of a sudden you are together all the time.
Schedule alone time wherever you are, as a couple map out and schedule equal times alone. If you’re solo parenting, you must find communities that offer childcare support OR
You. will. burn. out.
Go for walks, find a gym, sit in a church, do yoga, whatever it is that makes you feel grounded, alone.
Volunteer opportunities are available everywhere in the world. If solo parenting, these places are always great spots to find other like-minded parents that you can build a friendship of trust with and swap childcare hours for free.
4. Give more than you take
Interesting that failing to do this is a huge reason for burnout… but what many forget is that fulfillment only comes with effort, and I’m 100% not talking about the effort of herding children all day. Find a cause that aligns with your WHY and pour yourself into it no matter where you are.
If you are doing it right, no place you depart from should lack a positive little footprint with your name on it.
For example: if your WHY is your mental health, feed into one person a day by starting up a constructive conversation with someone you feel is in a similar situation you were in at home. If your WHY is tasting new foods from around the world, volunteer at a local restaurant or charity that feeds others.
This rule works opposite of what you would expect: Find places to pour yourself into or you will find yourself empty.
Our best and most memorable family travel experiences have been cleaning the trash with locals, sharing meals, and sitting in a widow's kitchen with her after helping fix something in the house. Do not underestimate the value of kindness when travelling, connection to where you presently are is everything.
5. Journal
(In a real book.)
The more you unplug from social media on the road, the more genuine the experiences will be. Journal just for you: the moments you saw your children love one another, the moments your spouse opened up in conversation, the moments, thoughts and lines you hope to never forget. You will forget most if you don’t write them down. These moments are crucial for revisiting in the rare times when your WHY, SELF-WORK, ROUTINE and GIVING aren’t enough.
I hope this is helpful, get in touch if you’re struggling and want a friend that can relate.
Much Love,
Owen Dargatz
Culturechalk.org offers human-connection experience based travel in Guatemala and is hosted by the Dargatz family of 7.
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